Meliora - Extricate - 46

[lady_mab]

Zoné Altair

That Monday, Jun doesn't come to school.

Lunch is solemn and silent. There are two empty chairs at the table. Lio and Lia sit with us, one on either side of me, a weird show of support that actually works. I can't muster the energy to eat.

There's a few bags of crisps, a familiar sight in our space before Jun. They're open, half-eaten, but no one else seems to have an appetite either.

"Is there--" Beat starts, then shakes his head. His close-cropped hair looks oddly disheveled today, and the reason becomes clear as he rubs his entire head with his hand. "Is there going to be a ceremony or anything?"

I don't really want to talk about it. The phone call at the hospital had been bad enough. This is the first time we've all sat down together after it happened. "I don't know," I confess.

At my sides, Lio and Lia remain silent.

"What are we supposed to do?" This comes from Mal, fingers pressed against the lunchroom table. His normally dark skin is ashen, expression drawn tight. "Just say bye to a photo?"

"I said I don't know." My voice doesn't lift above a stilted murmur. My stomach roils and my chest tightens. "His parents haven't told me anything."

Ayumu leans forward. He channels his emotions into frustration, voice cutting through the stillness. "You were with him at the hospital." Even though this is directed at me, he shoots a look at the twins.

My hand moves, but I don't know what sort of gesture I had been going for. So it falls, heavy, onto the table. "What do you want me to tell you? It was an accident."

Lio's breath catches. There's no change in his expression. I saw him go after Jun, but I didn't ask what they talked about -- all I know is that Jun came back looking a little more in control of herself.

Still doesn't mean that she can't take time to grieve.

The other four glance at one another, and there's no further argument from them. I told them everything that I could, everything that I knew how to explain that wouldn't bring up too many questions. I told them about the muscle pains, the cough. I told them about how he had an increased amount of Vitamin E in his bloodstream, but I didn't tell them why. I don’t know why. The doctor didn't know why.

I left out the fact that we'd been going to the hospital once a month, because I don't know how much that matters in the grand scheme of things.

Doctor Sawyer explained it to me as simply as he could, as we waited for Glen's parents and brother to arrive. There had been some sort of anomaly in Glen's blood that, when coupled with the Aspirin, made it so that it couldn't clot. Sometimes, people develop thrombocytopenia and it causes bruises to form easily, or nosebleeds to occur more often.

I couldn't verify the bruises, because it's still cold out and we're all wearing sweaters and pants. But the nosebleeds had come with increasing frequency.

This was the one time that it didn’t stop.

I breathe, heavy, and look at Mal, Robbie, Beat, and Ayumu. Their faces are a mixture of grief and frustration, and I don't blame them.

Tuesday rolls around, and Jun still doesn't come to school. She doesn't reply to my texts.

At lunch, there are still two empty chairs. The twins don't sit with us.

Wednesday, Jun texts me halfway through my classes and lets me know that she'll be back tomorrow. She's still very tired.

I tell her that I am too.

Thursday is silent and awkward in the way that Monday was, but worse. Jun apologizes for not bringing food, and Beat gives her a fierce hug.

She keeps her gaze focused on her hands for the rest of lunch.

Friday, things feel a bit more normal. Jun brings in food, though her hands shake and she can't serve it like she normally does. Beat and Robbie take over the job with enthusiasm, welcome for something -- anything -- to distract them.

We don't talk about what happened. We let the empty space and the lulls in conversation speak for themselves.

The weekend comes and goes. Lysander and I talk a bit on the phone. He checks to make sure that I'm holding up, that I will be okay. That if I need anything, he is here for me.

I don't call Catoir.

I make it a conscious effort to not call him.

Instead, I focus my helplessness and hone it into frustration. I use that anger to pointedly ignore my brother.

Monday, I find Jun in the halls, and we find the twins shortly after.

Lio grips the strap of his bag so hard his knuckles are white. "We think it might be better if we just go back to our routine."

"Nonsense," I tell them. It's a new week. A full week after it's happened. Jun is finally able to smile, even if just a little. She holds her head upright, and her surety grounds me. "You're a part of our group now."

Lia bites her lip, and there's something there that she wants to say.

Jun steps forward and takes her arm, and the refusal dies in Lia's gaze. "Do not think that you can get out of being our friend so easily." Her tone is light, but there is a hesitation there. We all hear it.

Please don't leave us after we've already lost so much.

Lia visibly relaxes into Jun's grip and the two girls lead the way into the cafeteria.

Lio and I exchange a quick look. I wave him in before me, bringing up the rear.

The sight that meets us brings Jun to a stuttering halt before she can make it all the way to the table.

Before I can ask what's wrong, Lia puts a hand between her shoulder blades and urges her forward a step. I peer at the table, where I can spot Beat, Ayumu, Robbie, and Mal.

I spot four empty chairs.

We approach with slow footsteps and an uneasy weight pulling us down.

"Jun!" Beat cries excitedly, jumping to his feet the way he does every time. He grabs for her hand, but she visibly recoils with eyes as wide as saucers.

The four at the table go silent, staring at us in confusion. Beat's hand hovers awkwardly in the air between us.

"I--" Jun starts, voice barely audible in the commotion of the hall. "I am sorry."

"No I'm--" Beat makes an attempt but Jun slips out from Lia's grip.

It's the same sort of fluid motion that I've seen her use a hundred times. A quick duck, twist, and then she's free. She says that it's a combination of methods, learning traditional dances, learning some basic martial arts.

Now she uses it to tear herself away from the comforting hands of Lia and pushes past us back out towards the hallway.

There's a scattered sound of dismay and general chorus of confusion. "Jun!" Mal calls, but she doesn't stop.

I spin around on my heel and follow after her.

Either no one else follows, or they're stopped by the twins. Either way, I'm thankful when I'm the only one standing in the hall looking to see what direction she might have gone.

Her shallow breathing is easy enough to pinpoint now that the halls are empty. I strike out to the left, and my long legs make it easy enough to catch up with her in no time at all.

I catch her elbow before she can turn another corner, then immediately lets it go, remembering the way she reacted to Beat's reach.

Jun whirls at my touch and it's painfully obvious that she's trying to fight back tears. "His chair is gone."

"I know."

"Zoné, Glen's chair is gone."

I don't know what to do with my hands. I want to try and comfort her, but I don't want to offer it if she will reject it. "Jun, what do you expect? We can't just hold on to an empty chair." I hate the way the words sound coming out of my mouth. I hate that I have to try and reason this with her.

"But it has only been a week. They act like they do not even care." Her hands are balled into unsteady fists at her sides. She’s trembling from head to toe, though I can’t tell if it’s in anger or because of the tears that are running down her cheeks.

“I--”

“They are forgetting him.”

This gets me to snap my mouth shut as I consider her words.

My understanding of what is happening on a grander scale is minimal at best. Trying to parse this together is almost beyond my ability. “What do you mean?”

Her expression does something funny that I don’t know how to interpret, then she steps forward and presses her forehead against my chest. Her hands grab mine, and she grips them tightly. “I do not know for certain, but… I think it has to do with ALICE and the whole point of Meliora. I think there is something that is making people forget, and we go to get a shot once a month to ensure that we do not.”

I honestly don’t know what to say. It makes no sense, but at the same time, I can’t put it past ALICE. If I think about it abstractly enough and not try too hard, it sort of adds up.

Jun pushes on, applying pressure to my hands and looking up. “I have nothing to back up these claims, but you must believe me. I will put it together. I need to know.”

“I know. Me too. I won’t pester you if you don’t want to talk about it but… Jun, know that you shouldn’t drive yourself to exhaustion.” This close, I notice that her hands look worse than usual. “Lysander and I are here for you, too.”

She nods, and keeps nodding, the motion picking up momentum as she wipes away the tears with her cardigan. “Thank you. I am trying.”

“Me too.”

A small laugh escapes her, but it’s broken and breathy and comes with more tears. “I do not want to go back in right now.”

My appetite still hasn’t returned, so I definitely don’t feel the need to go back to the cafeteria either. I just feel a little guilty about abandoning the twins, but they probably struck off on their own thing by now. “Same. Want to sit outside? We can freeze our faces and fingers instead.”

The laugh is a bit stronger this time and her nod more solid. “Yes. That sounds good.”

We end up skipping the rest of the day, sitting outside in the biting cold, huddled together. No one bothers us. The silence is comforting.

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