Mwyr - Chapter Seven

[lady_mab]

 

Chan was already up and in the field by the time the distant clock in Wellfox signaled the morning hour. The horizon started to show a tinge of pale blue and swallowed the tip of the ring where it vanished around the curve of the earth, though the two moons hung bright over the mountains. He hummed to himself as he worked.

Luka remained at the edge of the field, head resting on his front paws and large eyes watching Chan’s every move.

"Surprised you didn't spend the morning with Arika again," he said, and the dog lifted his head. "Got into the habit of getting up early the last two years, huh?"

The dog whined and thumped his tail against the dew-slicked grass.

Chan dropped into a crouch, picking the few remaining pebbles from the dirt. After Sera left the day before, he finished turning the earth but didn't continue with the work. The morning found him digging divots into the troughs and planting seeds. The tomatoes were in the kitchen, starters ready to transfer. If he timed everything just right, he would be okay leaving the farm on its own for the two days he would be gone for the fair.

Luka woofed, his tail thumping a bit harder. He rose to his feet, ready to greet someone.

Chan froze, fingers reaching for the trowel by his feet. He had no light but that from the moons, but their almost-full girth was enough for his morning chores. He tried to peer into darkness, hoping to see Arika stumbling down the hill, half awake.

Instead, Luka bounded around the side of the field to a pale figure with knife-sharp features. His tongue lolled out of his mouth with excitement.

Loki smiled fondly as he crouched down, rubbing the dog behind the ears. "Hello, boy. How have you been?"

Chan jerked to his feet and almost destroyed his troughs as he stormed across the field. He leaned over the top bar without having to strain. Dirty fingers clenched his brother's dark coat. "What are you doing here?"

Showing up at Tallah's grave, tainting the earth with magic, was one thing. Showing back at their house, ruining the memory of their childhood with his presence, was something completely different.

Loki managed to keep his smirk in place as he was lifted off his knees. It twisted a bit at the edges as Chan tightened his grip into a choke-hold. "No need for violence. I come unarmed."

"You can use your words as weapons, so excuse me if I don't trust you." With no effort at all, he lugged Loki to his feet, then up further still until his toes scraped over the grass. The muscles in his arms flexed with the motion. "So use what little words you have wisely."

Luka whined as he fidgeted in his spot, unsure if he wanted to stand or sit. His eyes focused on Chan.

Any trace of amusement fell from Loki's pale face and his amber eyes widened only a fraction. "I wanted to warn you."

"About?"

"Against leaving with the Goddess."

Chan lowered his arms until Loki could stand on his own two feet, but he didn't loosen his grip. "What do you mean?"

The smirk returned, albeit strained as he struggled for air. "She is leaving soon, isn't she? To go on a quest of self-discovery."

"So what if she is? The Goddess belongs in the Church, where the people who love her can visit her."

"Indeed. And those of us who knew her before -- or you who came to know her after. What of us. What of you?"

His fingers slacked, his mind attempting to reject the words. "But nothing about me. I have a life here, and it's not one I can give up because the Church didn't have their shit together two years ago."

Loki lifted his hands to Chan's, fingers cool as steel as he pried the lingering grip from his coat. "You don't plan on following her?"

"No," he growled and plucked Loki's hands from his. "I don't. I can't speak for Sera, but we know that there is nothing for us if we leave with her."

His brother regarded him with curiosity, tilting his head first one way then the other. "I hear she has a name. Why do you refuse to use it?"

This time, Chan shoved Loki away from him, sending the young man sprawling across the grass. "Who told you?" He had to shout over Loki's laughter. "Have you had those Ti'Corrah following us?"

"I have them do nothing that they wouldn't do otherwise. If they are bothering you, that is not on my command."

"Good to know you have such a poor standing with the monsters you have dug up." Chan grasped the fence, fingers digging into the wood until the tips turned white and splotchy beneath the dirt.

Luka padded over to Loki's side, nudging him with his nose. He woofed as a hand landed on his head, toying with the ears instead of focusing on his brother.

Chan forced the air out through his nose, struggling to control his anger. "You're not going to deny it?"

He didn't look up from the dog. Instead, he opted to spend more attention than necessary to flopping the ears back and forth. "Would you believe me if I said I couldn't control them? That they are beasts with minds and wills of their own?" When he chanced a glance up, there was no attempt to disguise the amusement. "Frightening thought, isn't it? The man with all the power and none of the control."

Chan's shoulders slumped, drained of energy. It was so easy to forget everything if he closed his ears and opened his eyes. He could see them as kids, sneaking out of the house to do work early before their mother woke up. They had been so close.

But now, when he looked, all he could think was what had happened while you were away at university?

He folded over the top bar of the field fence, resting his forehead against his folded hands. "Why warn me, Loki? What is your part in all of this? Do you know why she took two years after Tallah died?"

When Loki paused, Chan could practically feel the unspoken words wrapping around his throat. “Her delay had nothing to do with me, I promise you that. And while all I have are theories on the delay, I do not believe any of them enough to admit them to you with any confidence. But as for my reason for warning you, it is because despite everything, you are still my brother.” 

Chan laughed. It exploded from his mouth and wrapped in all of the disbelief he could muster into one sound. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“The plans I have for the Goddess, for the future... I do not want you to get tangled up in them. It will be safest for you to stay out of it.”

It would have been a lie to say he thought Loki wouldn’t get involved. He knew since Loki and Sera first debated theology that his brother cared little for the Goddess. They had received little in the world, and it was hard to have faith. 

Yet having his long-held fears confirmed snapped the remaining strings of restraint. 

Chan shifted his grip on the top railing, and his powerful muscles launched him over the fence with ease. He didn’t attempt to smother the blossom of satisfaction that came with the fear coloring Loki’s face as he stomped across the distance. Ignoring the dog’s whines, he heaved Loki to his feet. In the same fluid motion, he twisted him around to shove him against the wooden post. “What are you going to do?” 

He gasped as the air fled his lungs, but the smile remained plastered onto his face. “Such violence! I wonder what this wrath stems from. Can’t be healthy for you.” 

“Just give me a straight answer: Are you going to hurt her?” 

“If I do it correctly, then she won’t feel a thing. Chances are I won’t, though, but it doesn’t hurt to be optimistic.” 

Chan increased the force of his grip, forcing a grunt of pain from between Loki’s clenched teeth. “What--”

“Am I going to do to her? What does it matter, Chan? You said you weren’t going to follow her. I’m going to take this in both the literal and figurative sense. I like to think you’re on my side on occasions. If you promise you won’t go after her, I will leave and I won’t bother you again.”

“It doesn’t work that way--” 

“No, it doesn’t, and thus you can’t expect me to answer you when you have me pinned against a wooden fence.” 

Before Chan could relent and release his grip, Loki’s body turned to liquid. He slipped between his fingers and passed through the posts. He pulled smartly at his coat, smoothing the lapels and dusting off the sleeves. 

“I know you don’t want to trust me, especially when I am not telling you all that you want to know. But I do not want to subject you to the inevitable course of fate.” When he looked back up at Chan, there wasn’t a single recognizable trace in his expression. It was like what had happened to Arika. One moment, it was a familiar body with a familiar face then he blinked and it was all gone. Replaced with eyes too old and thoughts that belonged to someone else. 

Chan reached over the fence, hand grasping at nothing, mere inches from the black fabric. “Just stop whatever you have planned, Loki. You can still come home.” Silence stretched between them as the horizon lightened. Then his hand dropped and his shoulders slumped. “This isn’t like you.” 

He was rewarded with a wry twist of lips and a shake of the head. “No, it isn’t. But this--” and here, Loki indicated to Chan’s face and torso, “this isn’t like you, either.” Without giving him a chance to respond, Loki vanished. 

Luka started to bark at the empty space left behind. 

For a minute, Chan barely managed to hold himself upright using the fence post. His legs wouldn’t stop trembling. His entire body was on edge and about ready to shake itself apart. He sunk to his knees, ignoring the dew that seeped into his pants. “This is all my fault,” he muttered against the backs of his hands. “I was the eldest. I should have stopped him.” 

He had no idea who he spoke to. Did the Goddess still hear prayers when she slept in his guest bedroom? A slight breeze kissed the side of his face as it passed, offering the slightest bit of comfort. It did little to answer his questions. 

#

Cassia paced through the orchard. The fruit was already harvested for the fair at the end of the week, so there was very little chance that any farm hands would find her there by accident. Still, the smell of overripe peaches saturated the air from the fruits that fell to the ground early. 

Her fingers absently twirled around a pale green ribbon. It had rested on her window sill when she woke up that morning, coiled like a snake on the wooden ledge. 

She knew exactly who had left it for her. He would leave ribbons for her all the time when he wanted to talk to her away from the others. An old white ribbon tied up her hair, visible without her linen cap to cover the curls. It was the first one he had left for her, before things were all messed up. 

A small, hopeful part of her wondered if he would notice. 

A twig snapped off to the side, and when she turned, her breath caught in her throat. Despite the strange aura clinging to his familiar presence, Cassia’s legs carried her straight to him. “Loki--!” 

He grunted as they collided, arms folding around her without the slightest prompting. Time had not done him any justice. He was all sharp angles, and every inch of him was cold -- as if the afternoon sun couldn’t even touch him. “Look at you, Cass. Two years and you’ve turned into a beautiful young lady.” 

She jerked back, smacking his chest. Tears blurred her vision, and she swiped at them with the heel of a hand. “Two whole years! You can’t just disappear like that and then show back up years later with a ribbon and expect me to forgive you.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m not here to ask for your forgiveness.” He ducked his head, fingers tapping an uneven rhythm against her elbows. “I need to ask a favor of you.” 

Her heart stopped, and she retreated until his touch dropped from her arms. “You honestly expect me to do something for you when you left like that?”
“Cass--” 

“Loki, you disappeared.” She ran a hand back through her loose curls, tugging at the strands and twining them around her fingers. The green ribbon remained forgotten until Loki closed the gap she created and extracted the silk from her grip. Her eyes followed his every movement, watching as he wrapped the ribbon around her wrist. “You being away at school I could handle. You still wrote letters. You came home for your parents, and I thought you would stay.” 

His gaze hardened, even though he still refused to meet her searching eyes. “I know.” 

“I don’t think you do. Because one day, I go down to the farm to see you, and you’re gone.” In his place was a letter from the Church announcing Tallah as the next host for the Goddess’ spirit. With it, a list of things they would have to expect and prepare for. “I thought we were best friends, and that I would still be able to forgive you if you returned. Only you never did. You never sent a letter to explain yourself, where you had gone.” The tears she thought she had under control returned in full force.

Loki hesitated only a moment before he reached out and pulled her in against his chest. 

Her words tumbled from her mouth in a series of hiccups and sniffles. “You should have been there for her! For Tallah and for Chan. You had just lost your parents then you let your siblings lose you and then Tallah. And no explanation. Nothing. For over two years.” 

“I know,” he muttered into her hair. That was all he said, repeating the same two words over and over again. 

“Can’t you even tell me what is going on?” 

He shook his head, keeping his eyes closed even when she pressed the tips of her fingers to his cheeks. His skin burned cold beneath her touch. “I can’t. I need you to do a favor for me, though. Please. It’s for Chan.” 

Her fingers pressed tighter, and he winced but finally met her gaze. “Tell me why you won’t return home.” 

Loki took a deep breath, and she could see the calculations running through his head. He still had the same expression when he weighed his options. “It has to do with the Goddess. Or, more appropriately, the girl Arika.” 

Cassia drew back in confusion. “Who is Arika?” 

“The girl masquerading as the Goddess.” 

Dread settled in to the pit of her stomach and she struggled to catch her breath. “You mean that Chan is being lied to? That girl he thinks is the Goddess is actually a fake?” 

He shook his head, though now that he had met her gaze he wouldn’t look away. “She’s not a fake. Arika is the Goddess. She has not awakened is all.” 

“What do you mean?” 

His grip shifted from around her back to pull her hands from his face. He traced an idle circle against her palm with a thumb. “The Goddess sleeps within her. She doesn’t know that, or at least, I don’t think she fully understands it. But she will soon.”

“Do you?” Cassia waited until he quirked a brow in response to her question. “Do you understand what is happening?” 

His gaze lost focus, seeing something past her she would never be able to know. “I am like her,” he murmured, voice just as absent as his eyes. “Only I understand it a bit more than she does.” 

“Loki?” She reached up and brushed her fingers across his brow. It did little to bring his attention back to the present. “What are you talking about?” 

A long moment passed before he blinked and returned to her. “I’m afraid that things are repeating, and I’m doomed to play along with it. That’s why I need you to look after Chan for me.”

Her mouth dropped open, but the only sound to escape was a hiccup from the lingering tears. “What?” 

His grip on her hands tightened, fingers digging into her bones like tiny knives. “I want you to go with Chan if he leaves to follow her. I need you to go with him.” 

She laughed despite herself, attempting to pull back. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You need to watch over him for me. We might not have parted on the best terms, but he is still my brother. If he is going to follow Arika despite how much he says he won’t, bad luck will only follow him.”

“You have been to see him?!” 

“Twice on purpose, once was an accident.” 

Cassia ripped herself away from his grip and slapped his shoulder. “You idiot! I don’t know what you think you’re getting yourself involved in. But how can you see him three times and not once apologize?” 

“I am no longer in a position to apologize, Cassia. Things have gone too far for an I’m sorry to mean anything between us.” His amber eyes flashed, alive with knowledge and untold secrets. “Now, will you promise me that you will be there for him if anything should happen?” 

She bit down a protest, shoulders slumping. “Why are you asking me this?” 

“Didn’t I just tell you why?” 

“No, I mean why do you have to even ask?” 

He laughed and pushed his pale hair away from his forehead. It had grown long when he was away at school, longer still over the last two years. He always wore it loose. Her heart ached with the memory. “Because I will be the one bringing the bad fortune. He knows this, yet he might try anyway.” 

Cassia’s mouth opened before her brain could provide her with something to say. It took a long time for the gears to churn out a strained, “You don’t have to do this, Loki.” She lifted a hand to her eyes, surprised to find that they were dry. “Chan will forgive you if you go home and just drop this charade. We can go back to it being the three of us.” 

His hand landed on the top of her head, heavy and cold. “There was never a time when it was the three of us, Cassia. That had been our time at the orphanage. That had been our time before we met you.” 

She wanted to cry again. It would distract her from his words cutting into her, that she had never been able to compare to Tallah. “But--” 

“The time for childish innocence is over, Cass. We are adults now. We can’t keep living in the shadow of the halcyon days. Not when there is something darker lingering on the horizon.” With one final stroke of his hand through her curls, he retreated until they couldn’t reach for one another regardless of how far they stretched. “Will you promise me you’ll look after Chan?” 

“I will. You know I would, no matter what.” 

He smiled, but it was the practiced expression from when they were younger. Before he became comfortable around people. “I do. Thank you. It was good to talk to you again, Cassia. I have missed you, truly.” 

She couldn’t muster enough strength to think of an appropriate reaction. She couldn’t even manage a smile the way he could. Only her tired, drained posture. “I have missed you, too.”

Loki hesitated, wavering in his spot. He touched his own hair, and pointed back at her. “I like your ribbon.” He disappeared before she could reply. 

Her knees buckled beneath her, and she barely managed to catch herself on the trunk of a tree before she collapsed. Her eyes were still dry. She hated herself for that, for wasting her tears earlier in the conversation. It didn’t stop her heart from twisting in despair at the memory of the look in his eyes and the tone in his voice. 

He spoke like a man who didn’t plan to make it out of this alive.