Meliora - Emanate - 16

[lady_mab]

Liala Darcy

My stomach rolls and settles uncomfortably, as it has been doing all day. As it has been doing all week, and then some. I ache deep in my bones -- more than the familiar ache that I'm normally plagued with. This is deeper, dragging me down so I want to just flop over my desk and think about nothing.

Rhys says it is because of the shot. The nurse mentioned that it will be like any other time that we go in to get a flu shot. Our bodies are reacting to a virus that is injected into our bodies to strengthen our immune system. I am aching because of a miniature war throughout my blood.

Which seems terribly unfair, if you think about it.

I can't take pain killers, because they interfere with my already low blood pressure. I just have to suffer through it in the same way that I always do, which generally consists of lots of frowning and very little talking.

One thing I don't expect is when three girls come and surround my desk after calculus is over. It's the one class that I don't have with Lionel. He has something like statistics or geometry or whatever, while I am able to take a math class with students in the year above me.

I barely recognize the girls as being in my class, which doesn't mean much. I don't recognize a lot of people, because I keep my head down and my opinions to myself. They're definitely not the type I would think of associating with.

The one in the middle is the tallest, long legs ending in pumps that are definitely not uniform appropriate. Her brown hair curls around her shoulders in stylish waves, and a touch of makeup smiles from the shadows of her skin. She smiles. "You're Liala, right?"

I don't reply right away because I'm too busy trying to think about what I might have done to annoy them. I don't talk to anyone aside from Lio, so I couldn't have insulted them or flirted with their partners. The teacher doesn't share our grades with the rest of the class, so it can't be about the recent test.

The smile fades a bit and her head tilts to the side. "Are you not...?"

"Ah, no, sorry, I'm she." I blush at my awkward speech and shuffle in my seat. I don't feel well. I just want to go home. Lio will be looking for me. "Er, I mean. Yeah, I'm Lia."

Her grin returns and the three girls exchange looks. The blond to my right nods encouragingly and my roiling stomach drops to the floor in something battling between confusion and dread. What are they going to ask? I don't know how to handle surprises.

The girl in the middle places her hands on my desk and leans in. I try to remember her name as her clever grin cuts into me and she says, "We saw you at the hospital the other day."

My shoulders relax and I slump back in my chair. "Are you sure it was me?"

"Pretty sure. You have a different haircut than your brother. You were walking with some cute guy with glasses."

My mouth opens to reply, but it takes a moment before I can form the words. The most recent visit to the hospital was, of course, for the shots for Meliora. Luckily, I have my poor health as an excuse. "Yeah, I have to go there often for things like my inhaler and my meds and stuff." I make a show of dismissing the topic. "You probably saw me and my brother leaving."

Her eyebrows go a little higher, and the third girl, who I know is named Trisha, says, "He's very good-looking."

I have no idea how to reply to this. He's my brother. So I answer the only way I know how. "I don't think Rhys would be interested."

The three girls are stunned into silence for a brief second before breaking down into laughter. "Well, damn," Trish says emphatically. "That's too bad."

Is that all they wanted? To ask after my brother? Wouldn't be the first time, though I'm generally questioned about Lionel, not Rhys. I make a move to start packing my stuff into my bag, but one dark hand reaches out and catches onto my wrist.

Her smile is a little strained as she pulls the strap of the bag from my grip. "It's just... Well, the timing."

"We were hoping that you were a part of this game..." the blond picks up, curling her hair around her fingers.

My stomach does another flip, but this time, it's not the lingering nausea. Lio had admitted that his coworker is participating as an Informant. So is one of our classmates from Culture and Evolution, Zoné.

But the fact that someone would approach me? Because they knew me, not either of my brothers.

My silence must be answer enough because they all exchange looks again and Trisha pulls up the desk next to me to sit down. "So you were there for Meliora, weren't you?"

"How did--" I start. I don't know how to finish the sentence. "Which one of you is the Informant?"

The blond raises her hand. "I'm Catalina. I'm their Informant." She pulls up a chair for herself, so only the girl in the middle is left standing.

She seems used to it, however. Thriving under the attention as the three of us turn to look up at her. "I'm Briana. Call me Bri. Trisha and I were invited to participate, so we thought we'd ask Catalina to be our Informant. Wouldn't be able to keep a secret like that from her anyway."

Catalina gives her a grateful smile before turning to me. "How do you do it? You have to keep something like that from your brothers."

My gaze jumps between the three of them, and I don't know what to say. Who else knows? Zoné, and his partner. That's it. And it's okay because they're working with Mr. Stavros. I realize that I've started to shake my head, but still no words.

Bri presses a hand to her chest. "You didn't ask him to be your Informant, did you? I mean, he's your brother." She means Rhys, which means they think that I'm participating without Lionel.

I don't know how I feel about this information. On one hand, it means that they don't seem to hold to the idea that Lio and I are practically the same person that almost every other student in our year believes -- ironic, considering the circumstances. On the other, it serves as a painful reminder that Lio and I aren't as close as I thought. Not if he can pull off a trick like Lianel Lions without Rhys or myself finding out.

"Um, no. Rhys' friend is our Informant."

There's a collection of arched eyebrows and muttered responses, and I'm struck by how similar the three of them are in their mannerisms and speech. Is this what it's like to watch Lio and I together, except we also have the visual element? It's a little disorienting.

"So... you and your brother got invited to participate?" Trisha asks.

"Yes, well, no. Not really. Uh." I scratch the back of my head, and then deciding that since they already knew the bulk of the truth, I might as well tell them the rest. We're all in this together, anyway. "Lio, my twin? He's really good with computers. He... created a fake identity that covers a lot of the things that he and I share. So this fake person was invited, and Rhys was invited."

Bri hums in thought, arms crossed over her chest as she taps her lower lip with her thumb. "Interesting. I have no idea how that would even work, but that's interesting." Her smile returns in full force and she leans against my desk. "I think we should be friends."

My jaw drops, and an instant later I shake my head. "I think I heard you wrong."

"It only makes sense that we would want to be friends, wouldn't it?" Trisha leans forward and knocks my shoulder jokingly. "We're all participating in this game, and we're in the same calc class. At the very least we can become a study group."

"Please?" Catalina adds, turning on puppy eyes that I imagine must get her a lot of favors granted.

Unsure of how else I should be expected to react, I shrug and say, "Sure."

This is greeted with a chorus of squeals and giggles and I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the realization that I don't have any female friends. I have Rhys, Kaito, Lionel... that's about it. My social circle never expanded once we moved to Eminence. It barely expanded in Bainbridge, but that was one of the downsides of having poor health as a child. I couldn't go out to play with other kids.

Bri taps her nail on my desk and we all bring our attention back to her. "We'll give you our numbers. We should all hang out -- Meliora or otherwise."

An uncertain, wavering smile takes control as I pull the mobile out of my bag. "I'd like that," I admit, and I mean it.

The door to the classroom swings open as we exchange numbers, and all four of us turn to look at who it is.

Lionel stands in the hall, frozen. His eyes widen for a brief second, taking in the scene, then slip back into their neutral position. Neutral also involves ignoring the other girls. He focuses on me and says, "Lia. It's time to go."

I gather up my things, shoving them into my bag, before Bri can find her voice. "Do you have somewhere to be?"

"We walk to the train station together," I explain, catching the flicker of annoyance on Lio's face as I divulge our routine.

"Then?"

"Then... He goes to work and I go home?" I don't quite understand what she's getting at.

Catalina crosses her arms and leans them against my desk. "We'll walk with you."

My head ticks to the side. "You don't have to."

"Well, I'm certain we don't have to do anything we don't want to, but we want to hang out with you some more." Bri, still the only one of us standing, puts her weight on one hip and lifts a hand to curl her dark hair around her fingers. "Can we borrow your sister for a bit, Lio?"

The flicker becomes a storm and I rise to my feet before my twin can snap. "I should be getting home anyway. But next time?"

I'm rewarded by three smiles and Bri pats my arm as I start to move past.

"We'll see you in class on Monday," she says, and steps back to let me pass.

"Yeah." I hesitate, torn between one and the other, unsure of what else I should actually do. "See you then."

Lio follows my progress with a dangerously flat expression. I have to shove past him into the hall, grabbing onto his bag to tug him along after me. He follows without further urging, and neither of us say anything even once we're out in the weak afternoon sun.

There is stiff silence between us as we make our way down the sidewalk. I glance at him from the corner of my eye, uncertain how to bring up what is obviously bothering him.

Fuck it. He wants to be stuck in the tired, worn little rut we have always been in, let him be stuck there.

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing," he replies automatically, hands shoved into his pockets as his shoulders hunch up around his ears.

"That's a lie if I've ever heard one." I mean for it to be teasing, but then I remember the frustration on his face when he found me chatting with the girls, and I decide against it.

"Who are they?" There's a hint of jealousy in his voice, so tiny that if I wasn't his twin, if I wasn't so close to him, I wouldn't have caught it.

So I shrug. "They're in my calc class." The one class we don't have together. And, because I want to push this further, because if he won't talk about it then I will, I add, "They're participating in Meliora."

He stops and whirls on me. "What the fuck, Liala."

"What?"

"You told them?"

"They approached me--"

"And you admitted to participating! What else did you tell them?"

"They put it together on their own! They saw Rhys and I leaving the hospital. They knew it was me, not you." There's a small warmth of satisfaction in my chest at admitting that. It's always someone putting Lio before me, forgetting that I exist, that there really is two of us.

Apparently, Lio forgets this too.

His eyes narrow and he stares at me like he's trying to figure out a complicated puzzle. But I'm not complicated. I'm his twin. "You don't seem to think that there is anything wrong with that?"

I laugh -- a reaction that surprises even me. "No, I don’t."

"They could tell someone--"

"Oh? And who are they going to tell? The APM that prefers to communicate through text messages with no return address? Or, who was that other one you mentioned?" I snap my fingers in thought, making a show as I try to remember the exact words that Lio used. "Secret Agent Man Chuck?"

He bristles, but I forge on before he can slide in a retort of some kind. "You should have thought about those consequences before you decided to drag me unknowingly into this little made up personage of yours."

"We don't even know what could happen!" he shouts, so I shout louder to be heard over him.

"No, we don't! Why should we be afraid if we don't even know what there is to be afraid of?"

Lio's mouth opens, but only a confused sound leaks free.

I wait another few moments, just to give him a chance to prove me wrong. He doesn't. "See?" My hands flop against my sides, and I suddenly am very tired. "I want to make friends, Lio. And there are others that know about our situation. I think it's only fair that I should allow to have something outside of this."

"Outside of what?" he forces out. "Meliora?"

"No." I have to force myself to match his gaze, telling myself that this needs to be said. "Us."

I hadn't noticed how angry he must have been until his expression completely closes off. There's nothing behind his eyes, and he pulls himself just a bit straighter. A reminder that he stands a few centimeters taller than me. A reminder that we can be different if we want to.

"Oh."

Oh. That one little syllable means so much. Oh, he mutters in a way that tries to make me seem like the bad guy in the situation -- because I'm the one who is trying to push him away.

It's my turn to straighten my shoulders and pull myself upright as well. It doesn't make nearly as much as an impact as it does for Lio, because he slouches to a point where we are almost the same height. "I'll see you at home, Lio."

His eyebrow twitches, caught between wanting to show concern and remain indifferent. "Where are you going?"

"You're going to work. I’m not going to walk with you to the station."

I watch the corners of his mouth pinch and thin, a remarkable impersonation of Rhys' attempts at not frowning. He takes a breath.

"I don't want to hear anything that isn't okay Liala, I will see you at home, walk safely." I wait, and nothing comes. I offer a watery smile and try not to look disappointed. "Thought so."

He doesn't stop me as I move off in the direction of the bus stop. I don't have to look over my shoulder to know that he is going to stand there for several seconds, then turn in the direction of the train station.

Some of his actions surprise me, but this is not one of those moments. He is predictable in his anger, and at least I have that to rely on.